Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Guranteed to Roll Your Eyes

I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm gonna mop the floor with your face."

I said, "You'll be sorry."

He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?"

I said, "Well, it's not very absorbent and you won't be able to get into the corners very well."


Another one? Okay, but you asked for it...

Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony. "Help, help!" yells one of the blondes.

"Help us, help us!" yells the other.

"Maybe it would help if we yelled together," said the first blonde.

"Good idea," said the other.

So the both started yelling, "Together! Together!"


One final one? Alright, but brace yourself, this one is really BAD...

A southern belle was looking to buy a house. The seller said, "This house hasn't got a flaw in it!"

The southern belle replied, "My lands! What do y'all walk on?"


Okay. Okay. One more, but this is it...

Two buffalo were standing on the range when a passing tourist said, "Those are the mangiest, scroungiest, most moth-eaten, miserable beasts I have ever seen."

One of the buffalo turned to the other and said, "You know, I think I just heard a discouraging word."

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